Arlene Is Alone with Lauren Holly

Emmy-nominated actress Lauren Holly (Picket Fences, NCIS, Dumb and Dumber) joins Arlene for an intimate conversation about finding the courage to fail, navigating life as an empath, and what her relationship with Jim Carrey taught her—they're still friends to this day. Lauren also shares why she chose to distance herself from certain Hollywood circles, including refusing to attend events with Donald Trump. This is a conversation about resilience, boundaries, and defining success on your own terms.

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:00

There were lots of nights that I'll be honest that I was, you know, prone on my bathroom floor. Like, what the hell? How am I gonna do this? I was also getting dragged the whole time. I was in a very tough divorce. And I had a landlord who became sort of obsessed, I guess, with me. And stalker obsessed? Stalker obsessed and got so bad that when I finally managed to extricate myself from that lease and move us out, that he sued me for$10 million for emotional distress because he said he went into a depression when I left his house.

SPEAKER_02 0:48

Hi everyone, it's Arlene Dickinson. Welcome to this week's episode of Arlene is alone.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

Lauren Hawley has been a forest in Hollywood for over 30 years. An Emmy nominated actress known for her unforgettable roles in Picket Fences, NCIS, Dumb and Dumber, and countless other film and television projects. But the role she's played in her own life, those took even more courage. Today, Lauren opens up about finding the courage to fail, what it means to navigate life as an empath, and what her relationship with Jim Carrey taught her. They're still friends to this day. She also shares why she made the choice to distance herself from certain circles in Hollywood, notably why she refuses to attend events with Donald Trump. This is about more than Hollywood. It's about finding yourself when the world thinks it already knows who you are.

SPEAKER_02 1:45

Hey everybody, welcome back to our Lena's Alone, and today I'm alone with Lauren Hawley.

unknown 1:49

Hello.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

It's so nice to meet you.

SPEAKER_03 1:51

Oh, it's nice to meet you too.

SPEAKER_02 1:53

I feel like you, as I said to you when you came in, I feel like we're sisters from another mother when I was reading about your background. Like, first of all, well, you're an October baby, but you're not, you're not a Libra, right?

SPEAKER_04 2:02

I'm a Scorpio.

SPEAKER_02 2:04

And Scorpios.

SPEAKER_04 2:05

I'm very proud of that.

SPEAKER_02 2:06

Are Scorpios like harder to get along with?

SPEAKER_04 2:09

Um, I think the thing with Scorpio is it takes a long time for them to trust. And once we do, we're loyal as hell. But if you cross us, watch your back.

SPEAKER_02 2:19

Yeah, you're like, you're you're very clear in your lines. I am. We're Libras, which is what I am. Are like everybody thinks, you know, we get along with everybody and we all but we really I'm not sure we really like people.

SPEAKER_04 2:31

I don't know. My partner is a Libra, so I sort of sense that.

SPEAKER_02 2:34

Yeah? Yeah. And how long, how long have you been in this relationship for? Uh five years. Five years, okay. And pretty, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:43

Pretty new. Yeah. Well, we um we started out as uh we're we started out as writing partners and then it blossomed. So we work together as well as have a personal relationship.

SPEAKER_02 2:55

Which is challenging in and of itself. I've done that. That's but I mean I think that intimacy of being the work wife or the work husband, it does, it's easy to have turn into as like a sexual tension, right? Because you're so close with each other all the time.

SPEAKER_04 3:10

Yeah, I think that um yes, it's true. Yeah. And I think that sort of um they feed each other like the creativity and all of that, like it seemed to blossom. We we had similar mindsets. So and how did you guys meet? Uh just through a friend. Yeah. It's really, you know, once you get to be my age, I guess that's pretty much the way.

SPEAKER_02 3:31

I I must not have good friends because I haven't met anybody. Although I'm not trying to meet anybody either, so you know, I guess that's well that's when it happens. Is it? That's what they say.

SPEAKER_04 3:41

I didn't I was worse than that. I didn't really want to. I was sort of That's who I am. Yeah. And this came about, but it also came about because of our creative spark. So that was the way that it sort of got into it.

SPEAKER_02 3:54

And you like are you acting still? Are you yeah, you still act and you and you write? So you're doing both. Which which do you prefer?

SPEAKER_04 4:04

Um, well, I I love acting. I mean, I've been doing it for 45 years. It's crazy. Since little. Yeah. Wow. Well, not so little, but I have been doing it that long, and I'm very proud of the fact that I've worked consistently for that long. I started writing maybe seven, eight years ago. Then I, you know, we made our first movie together a couple years ago. We got a theatrical release, and we just finished two more scripts, so we're just out there grinding and trying.

SPEAKER_02 4:38

It's hard to sell scripts in Canada, right?

SPEAKER_04 4:41

It's hard to sell anywhere.

SPEAKER_02 4:43

Anywhere? Is it now you were born in the US, but I thought you you're a Canadian citizen, though?

SPEAKER_04 4:48

I'm a Canadian citizen now. To be honest, I saw Donald Trump come down the escalator and was here working and had been working here for a while, and I thought, okay, hold on. I'm just gonna apply for this. So myself and my sons, we all became um Canadian citizens.

SPEAKER_02 5:08

And are you a dual citizen then?

SPEAKER_04 5:10

So I'm a dual citizen now.

SPEAKER_02 5:11

And what's what's that? I I'm I'm really curious because I haven't had a chance to talk to many dual citizens. What's that feel like right now in the middle of everything that's going on politically? I know you're very active, you're very vocal on social media, as am I. And I feel like this is why I felt so uh much akin to you, because I I compare that a lot of it.

SPEAKER_04 5:31

Not to mention the fact that as I'm looking at you, I'm like, we could be related as well. Um physically. Physically, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:38

Yeah, well, I'll take that as a huge compliment.

SPEAKER_04 5:41

Um how does it feel? Well, I'm very thankful for my Canadian citizenship at this moment, to be honest. And Canada has been a place that has very much welcomed me. I had a strange reason for coming here, which I won't get into, but once I got here, I was a single mom with three boys and started working here and loved it. And it I kept getting employed here. So I ended up staying. And then it got to the point where my boys were, you know, about in middle school and they didn't want to leave because they had friends and everything. So I kind of made them a promise. I'm gonna stay till you guys all go to university and then I'll probably go back to the States. Um, it didn't happen because of what's going on in the US.

SPEAKER_02 6:32

How old are your boys?

SPEAKER_04 6:33

Uh 21, 22, 23.

SPEAKER_02 6:35

Oh, like literally you had them like Yeah, three in a row. That's that's brutally hard.

SPEAKER_04 6:40

Three in a row, single mom, three boys, yeah. Wow. My youngest is graduating from university in May.

SPEAKER_02 6:47

And you put them through school on your own, you did everything on your own. How was that?

SPEAKER_04 6:52

Uh really hard.

SPEAKER_02 6:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:54

And especially in a country where I didn't know anyone, which is why I have such fondness for here, because somehow I did it. And I felt really supported.

SPEAKER_02 7:06

You know, Lauren, I don't know about you, but when I hear people talk about, and you hear it all the time, you know, entrepreneurs and and anyone in business who talks about how hard it is and how difficult it is. And when you sit there as a single mom or a single parent, which I was as well, and you think about building a business or building your career and raising your family and having nobody to go home to, nobody to share things with, nobody to share the burden of financially or emotionally, that takes a that takes a grit and the determination that I don't think people really understand.

SPEAKER_04 7:39

No, that that's exactly who I was, and I had no family here either. And there were lots of nights that I'll be honest, that I was, you know, prone on my bathroom floor, like, what the hell? How am I gonna do this? I was also getting dragged the whole time. I was in a very tough divorce, and I had a landlord who became sort of obsessed, I guess, with me. And stalker obsessed? Stalker obsessed and got so bad that when I finally managed to extricate myself from that lease and move us out, that he sued me for$10 million for emotional distress because he said he went into a depression when I left his house.

SPEAKER_02 8:31

So it's your fault that you left and he got depressed because he's a good thing.

SPEAKER_04 8:34

And I literally had to fight that battle next. Like it was it was insane.

SPEAKER_02 8:40

What's wrong with our system that you have to fight a ridiculous lawsuit like that? Like, why why doesn't a judge look at that and say, this is ridiculous? Like I'm not even gonna make her fight this.

SPEAKER_04 8:50

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 8:51

Because you probably cost you money to fight.

SPEAKER_04 8:52

It cost me money, it cost me everything, and of course I won. And of course it even came with, you know, a restraining order and everything else, and you know, to be done. But it was really tough. And the same thing about my divorce. Um, divorce law is very different here than in the States, which I'm pretty sure why my ex brought me here because he did that before everything fell apart. So I'm pretty sure that's why. And even my divorce was so terrible that the judge struck my ex, which meant that he felt that he had done such terrible things to me that he was no longer allowed to have a defense.

SPEAKER_02 9:34

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_04 9:35

Which is one of the harshest things that is in the Canadian legal system. But it took nine years to get there.

SPEAKER_02 9:40

Nine years and then the emotional toll and again the financial toll, because people don't think about that. When you're defending yourself in a lawsuit, it's expensive.

SPEAKER_04 9:49

And you know, I gotta tell you, people would um, you know, I don't know, even my own lawyer who I had originally hired to defend me, um, they think, oh, she has money, you know, whatever. And at the end of everything, just to stand up for myself, because I felt that I had been taken advantage of that way too, I brought a complaint against him in the bar here, and I won.

SPEAKER_01 10:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 10:18

So it was a decade of busting my ass while sort of fighting these outside forces. And all I can say is now I did it, and I feel like I can do anything.

SPEAKER_02 10:33

Yeah, no kidding, right? And that's probably why you recognize in Trump that same bullying aggression. Oh, I can't stand it.

SPEAKER_04 10:40

He is an absolute bully and is just the idea that he can do the things he can do and not be held accountable is just enraging to me.

SPEAKER_02 10:53

When you when you think about you know that going through a divorce like that and you move to another country, you're you've got your kids. What is it? Like, what happens? We fell in love with them at some point. We we love them at some point, right? I always say I loved my exes at one point, right? Because I did. But then like, do we just not see the signs? Is it is it our vulnerability? Is it a woman's need to please? Like, what happens, do you think?

SPEAKER_04 11:18

I'm not sure. And I, you know, listen, I I probably seem to just a general person kind of ridiculous. I've been married three times, so someone might think, you know, there's something. Um, from my point of view, each of those, they were my three main relationships of my life, and the shortest one was 12 years.

SPEAKER_05 11:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:42

So I don't think of it like that. If I'm guilty of anything, it's because I have this romantic notion that everything, you know, the first date should lead to marriage. Um but in reference to this person, they went through such an ideological change that if you can believe it, he now is very high up in the Coke organization, KO C H, that sort of is my opposite politically. And it's very easy for me to be like, oh, Satan works for Satan. This is what I'm dealing with now.

SPEAKER_02 12:26

So now I understand it. I can see it actually, it all it all makes sense now.

SPEAKER_04 12:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:30

Yeah. I I I mean that's and that's not who they were when we first started dating. So the people change. People change. I think that's the answer. Like I've been married twice. I have been in, um, and I've been in two long-term relationships. So I I I would say that my two long-term relationships were similar to to marriages. And you know, I what really bothered me after, you know, I had friends used to say, you know, well, you've been married twice. Like it was some sort of failure on my part that I uh I like I was to blame. And for a long time I internalized that and I thought, well, what is wrong with me? Like, why can't I stay in a relationship? And then I realized that it's it's not that. It's like we're but we tend, I think, as women to want to see what we could have done differently. And listen, everybody can do some things differently for sure, but it it it's not that the blame belongs with, you know, that there's something wrong with us that we got divorced.

SPEAKER_04 13:22

Like no, and if I look back on my life too, you know, um those those marriages were really important things to me at those stages in my life. Like they really helped keep propelling me forward to who I was supposed to be.

SPEAKER_03 13:38

Right.

SPEAKER_04 13:38

And, you know, my first two I have very fond, we just grew differently, I guess. Are you still friends?

SPEAKER_02 13:47

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:48

Yeah. So um yeah, so that's good.

SPEAKER_02 13:53

And are is the father of your sons all the same father? And are are the the kids close to is it this is it the last one or is it one of the um they're not too close.

SPEAKER_04 14:03

No, yeah, no, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:04

That's that's also hard, right? It's also hard because but maybe it's for the best for them, you know, like too.

SPEAKER_04 14:11

The way the world is right now, probably. Probably, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:14

I also understand what it's like to go through, you know, the pressure from legal systems and and all those challenges, you know. Like I I didn't get custody, full custody of my kids when I went through my divorce, because I, you know, he it was like he had a job, but I was one who actually paid for him to get his education to get the job, but that didn't matter because I worked, you know, like it was just all it was complicated, it was difficult, and it was um it was challenging to to not again see myself as a failure, but I do think that we end up in a place where we we grow from our relationships, and I think we learn a little bit about ourselves. And what I've learned is I am very independent, um, and maybe I'm not suited for you know living in a traditional way with somebody.

SPEAKER_04 15:00

Oh, I think, yeah, I think we learn a lot about ourselves. Um it's interesting to me because I don't the relationship I'm in now is not traditional in any way. We live between three different places, we spend lot big chunks of time apart. Maybe I kind of like that. Maybe I'm used to that a little bit. Um and you know, I feel like I lead two different lives with him because there's our work life and our personal life. And yeah. So you can separate it? I can separate it.

SPEAKER_02 15:34

You can separate it. Can he?

SPEAKER_04 15:35

Oh, I think so. Yeah. I think he's a totally independent guy like that.

SPEAKER_02 15:40

Same age?

SPEAKER_04 15:41

Uh I'm older.

SPEAKER_02 15:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 15:42

I'm uh nine years older, I think.

SPEAKER_02 15:46

We are very much I like my my last relationship, I was nine years older. That's crazy weird.

SPEAKER_04 15:52

Um, but yeah, like I I It doesn't seem it doesn't seem like there's an age difference, but I get maybe from his point of view, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 16:01

No, I think you're very young for your age, right? I think we can be as young as we want to be in terms of.

SPEAKER_04 16:06

Yeah, I think it's like an energetic match, yeah, right?

SPEAKER_02 16:08

Yeah, yeah, I think that's true. All right. I want to how many talk shows have you done?

SPEAKER_04 16:14

Many.

SPEAKER_02 16:15

Okay. What's the one that you go? That was one I never thought of my career I'd be sitting in this chair, beside Arlene Zalone. Beside this one, of course. But like, it's not talk show.

SPEAKER_04 16:25

I did David Letterman a few times. That was very exciting to me.

SPEAKER_02 16:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 16:28

You know, Jay Leno.

SPEAKER_02 16:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 16:30

I had a I had a really good time. Remember when Rosie O'Donnell had a show, doing her show? I like them, Jimmy Kimmel. All of them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:38

And look what they're going through. Rosie had to leave the country. It's insane. It's insane.

SPEAKER_04 16:43

It's insane what's going on.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

Jimmy Kimmel gets this almost kicked off.

SPEAKER_04 16:47

I'm reading the news before I came here and just my head exploding.

SPEAKER_02 16:52

Yeah. How do you manage that anger? Not well. Not well, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 16:57

Not well, to be honest. And, you know, I get lots of lectures from my partner who he has a different way of thinking than I do. He wants to completely disengage. He thinks that's the way to deal with him. Um, I don't. And I've tried to limit my news, but I can't, I feel like it's my responsibility in a way.

SPEAKER_03 17:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 17:22

I I want to know what's going on and I want to make sure everybody else knows what's going on. And, you know, recently I took a really hard line with a whole group of family members of mine, which is very difficult because I don't have very much family left. And they're they've been, you know, they're in the cult. I don't know, it's crazy to me. Because I I at this point it's not politics anymore. No, it's morality. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:51

It's just totally morality. Yeah. You know. A hundred percent. I I agree with you so much when people say it's about Republicans versus Democrats. No, it's not. That ended a long time ago. Yeah, that ended a long time ago. And now we've got like this Christian nationalism happening and this white, it's almost like white supremacy. All of it is just um and the misogyny and the and the the lack of accountability and and the lack of this the justice system doing what it needs to do.

SPEAKER_04 18:18

And it it may be Or my Congress or anyone that things just keep being allowed to happen.

SPEAKER_02 18:25

Just well, so just back to the talk shows for a minute. Do you think when you were on those talk shows, do you think they have an obligation to speak about what's going on? Because some of them are very good at talking about it. And you know, Jimmy Kimmel, like they they they bring it front and center.

SPEAKER_04 18:39

I think they have their right if they want to.

SPEAKER_02 18:42

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 18:43

That's the entire basis of our constitution is freedom of speech. And I think that if you don't want to watch them because of it, you don't have to, if you don't want to be a guest, but they have every right. And that's what I think.

SPEAKER_02 19:00

I I agree that. What's the most unexpected moment that happened on a talk show for you where you and they either they asked a question or you or you found yourself going, huh? How do I answer that?

SPEAKER_04 19:12

Honestly, the first thing that popped into my head was um Jay Leno gave me a sports quiz. It might have been Magic Johnson I was on with. And I passed, and because of that, he gave me a Bobby Sherman lunchbox that was signed. Because I used to love Bobby Sherman when I was young. And uh that was pretty cool.

SPEAKER_02 19:32

That is very cool. That is very cool.

SPEAKER_04 19:33

I thought that's I I Because I get nervous about competition. I'm not that person. I don't like to compete in things and you know, whatever. So when I sat there on that chair in front of the audience, he's like, we're giving you a quiz. I about died. But then I passed it.

SPEAKER_02 19:48

So But you compete all the time in acting, right? You're competing for parts, are you not?

SPEAKER_04 19:53

I guess, but it's not um in front of an audience, like of just random people. If I have to go compete in a room, it's in front of the professionals I'd be working with, so it feels a little bit different.

SPEAKER_02 20:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:06

It's one of the reasons I'm a sports fanatic. I love watching sports, and I think it's because I just get, I'm like addicted to that tense feeling because I feel like I'm them. Like, oh my gosh, make it up to bat. Like, I don't think I could handle that pressure.

SPEAKER_02 20:21

That's got to be because you're an actor, that you have that empathy to put yourself in the in the situation of somebody who's struggling, right? Like the actor at or so the the the back.

SPEAKER_04 20:31

I think it starts with being the empath, and luckily I found a job that I could sort of use that for.

SPEAKER_02 20:36

Yeah, yeah. I had got have you been an empath your whole life?

SPEAKER_04 20:39

My whole life, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:40

And have you found that and do you find that really hard? My daughter is an empath. I'm really curious about what you think about this because she really wears everybody else's problems in a major way, to the point where it creates real stress for her and it it I've gone through that. Yeah, yeah. Like physical stress, you know, like as a result of always worrying about how everybody else is doing and not worrying about herself.

SPEAKER_04 21:03

Yeah, it that gets hard, you know, because you carry people's things a lot, but um, it also there comes a point where um I don't know how to explain it, but it almost feels like it also heals you. Like you start it's like a um a transference of energy in a way, you know. Um I think my hardest thing is um animal abuse. I can't handle it. I can't handle it in if I see it in movies or television or on the street, or that's overwhelming.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

That's overwhelming for you.

SPEAKER_04 21:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:43

Because you're an empath, it must be very hard for you to have those tough conversations with your family because you would bear their stress more than anyone's because they're a foundation.

SPEAKER_04 21:52

That's terrible because and it's really um it's just really upsetting because well, first of all. I just I I can't understand. I don't know. I've been in the streets, I've driven my sons to Washington and made them carry signs. Like they all are like, oh, moms, we've had 10 years of mom being upset about this guy. But I knew him personally.

SPEAKER_02 22:19

Oh, did you? How did you know him?

SPEAKER_04 22:22

The New York scene.

SPEAKER_02 22:23

Ah, okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 22:25

And he was someone back then in the you know early 90s. Um, if he was going to a party, it was a party I wasn't gonna go to. Like he was just a tacky. Oh, so even back then you could see kind of oh, just a lying, tacky joke. And I have to be honest, I will never forget the first time I met him at a New York fashion show. And he was with his daughter, who was probably 12 or 13, and I witnessed him coming up to a group of us to say hello and meet us, and I witnessed him put his hand on her butt under a mini skirt. And at the time, the people that I with and I we were so uncomfortable. It was weird.

SPEAKER_02 23:18

You know, I have a friend who was in a room with him, and I asked her what it was like, and she said that, you know, she hadn't ever understood kind of the power of evil charisma. And so, you know, what did we ask her what she meant by that, and she said, you know, when he walked in, he has this this kind of aura of or charisma that kind of it's weird, she said. And and so, but she said it's it's you can sense it, you can feel it. And she said, and when he walked by, she said, I just had this like visceral reaction. It was like he hadn't said anything to me, he hadn't done anything, but I just felt completely overwhelmed by his presence. And so, you know, cult leaders are like that, right? They have this magnetic ability, you know, this magnetic power. It's just crazy. It is crazy, and he's not smart, yeah. And it's weird.

SPEAKER_04 24:06

And it's weird, and I just can't, I can't even understand it. And like what a joke. Yeah. And do and being here and being in Connecticut, and you have to understand, I was a very patriotic American. I loved my country. And when I first came here and um Obama was elected president, I was like walking around, and people, you know, are like, wow, you have a great country, you know, and all of that. And now I don't want to tell anybody. I'm completely mortified.

SPEAKER_03 24:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 24:41

And I crossed the border, I have to go do things there, and I've seen how much it has fallen. There is a general things are closed, roads are messed up, like, you know, and people I ha have a place in South Carolina and it's a carry state. People carry guns. Like, are you kidding me? Like, I don't want to go to the movies, I don't want to go to the mall. Like, it's just gotten weird.

SPEAKER_02 25:07

No, because there's so many mental health issues that, you know, it is feels to me like the pot is boiling over, that things are getting out of control to the point where you know, like something catastrophic is although you could say that things are catastrophic, things are happening, but even even you know what my biggest fear is right now?

SPEAKER_04 25:26

And my biggest fear is a false flag event that they engineer.

SPEAKER_02 25:31

I I I've said the same thing. So again, again, maybe it's because we're both so immersed in it that, but I I think the same thing. I've said right from the beginning that you know he's going to create some sort of unrest internally in America, and he, you know, the enemy is within us. I I saw a chart uh yesterday that basically talked about um it was a poll on whether or not you saw your neighbors as as moral or not. And more people in America saw their neighbors as immoral than moral. Where in Canada, I think it was like 90% saw their neighbors as moral, and you know, very few saw them as immoral. It's crazy. Yeah. Nothing.

SPEAKER_04 26:08

No. My dad and I used to say it's a slow motion coup. We're just watching it in slow motion, but now it feels like it's gone to hyperspeed.

SPEAKER_02 26:16

It's like the frog in the boiling water that doesn't jump out because it doesn't realize that the temperature's going up and up and up, and then things are gonna happen.

SPEAKER_04 26:22

Well, I've been building all these camps.

SPEAKER_02 26:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:25

Who's gonna be in them?

SPEAKER_02 26:26

Yeah, except us. Yeah, exactly. Like people who are are vo are vocal about it. I mean, I I I have to say to you, I I really appreciate that you use your voice. I I I I've learned that it's very hard for people to talk up. They don't and talk out about it because they, whether it's their work, whether it's their friends, whether it's their family, whether they feel like everybody else must not everybody else must agree with them, so it must be me that's the issue. Um and I and I think it's so important that we find our voices and that we stand up.

SPEAKER_04 26:56

You know, the truth is is that I probably well, I know I didn't have the courage when it started. Um I was too dependent on getting a job, you know, and all of that. And now it's just gotten to the point where I'm like, okay, well, if I don't get another job because of this, if some network won't hire me because the media company's owned by this and I've had suspicions already, so be it.

SPEAKER_03 27:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:24

Because this is just too much now.

SPEAKER_03 27:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:26

And somebody's gonna see my value, and you know, I just can't help it.

SPEAKER_02 27:32

You don't want to work with people that that won't hire you simply because you speak out of the way.

SPEAKER_04 27:37

No, I just did a movie for um Roku called Broad Trip, and it's a mother-daughter comedy, and I think it's really funny actually, and it'll be coming out in May, and I did it with uh Sophia Bush. Yes, and it was so funny because I didn't know, I just knew her name, but the minute this came to me, the first thing I did, because I knew that it was going to be me and her most of the time, stuck in a car a lot. What are her politics? I don't think I could handle it. And I was so happy to find out that she's incredibly outspoken. And, you know, so I we just enjoyed that experience so much together.

SPEAKER_02 28:16

What's it like to be thrown into a cast with people that you haven't met before and have to be intimate and funny and and and close to them, you know, because you're you're playing a character, but you have to literally find that connection. Like, what is that like?

SPEAKER_04 28:31

You know, it's funny because I think it happens pretty quickly because we're especially if there's you know some seasoned people involved who've been around doing it a long time, because you are immediately vulnerable. You know that you immediately put yourself in that state because you have to listen to what they're saying so much so that you can react properly and whatnot. And so I think a closeness gets forged um maybe faster than normal when people are kind of keeping up their guard and sussing out the other person and all that. We we don't have that luxury. So um it's really fun. And and it's like we're a bunch of I always refer to actors as carnies because we just kind of follow the trailers and go from job to job and make these families. Yeah, and some families stick for years, you know, and and um other ones sort of dissipate, but it's nice.

SPEAKER_02 29:30

Okay, you mentioned the word carny, but made me think about Carrie. Yes. So Jim Carrey, married Jim Carrey, yes. I have to ask, what was that like? How did you did you fall in love on set? Like what happened?

SPEAKER_04 29:42

Um, no, we met before, and um we started a relationship back in the day. I I I don't even know how. I mean, when I first met Jim, he was um wearing his clothes inside out because someone told him that that was gonna work. And um he yeah. And he was just funny. We had a great time, and then when he got his first opportunity, he got in Living Color, and he got his first opportunity to um do Ace Ventura. He wanted me to do the movie with him because weirdly I was more successful than Jim when I first met him. And I didn't want to do it. No, I just I just didn't think the part was that great, and Courtney Coxon, great movie, but then when Dumb and Dumber came along, I was like, okay, yeah, I want to do this one. I like this part. So we were already together when we when we did that, and that was fun. Um and yeah, he's just he is uh he's a genius, basically. He is and like majorly talented in so many ways. I mean, singing, art, everything.

SPEAKER_02 30:54

And now are you still friends? Yeah. So you you weren't married long, I don't think, really.

unknown 30:59

No.

SPEAKER_04 30:59

We were together 11 years and married for one.

SPEAKER_02 31:02

Okay, so so as soon as you got married, things went, uh, maybe not.

SPEAKER_04 31:06

Well, he's a he's a complicated um person. And uh he has some uh you know um mental health issues that he manages, and that can play a part.

SPEAKER_02 31:23

He um I I I I have a lot of respect for his skill. He reminds me a little bit of Robin Williams in terms of the skill of you know, the comedic genius of it, but also the that you can tell there's challenges underneath that all of the all of the Well, it was quite a time because in his career I was with him from in Living Color to Man on the Moon.

SPEAKER_04 31:47

So it was all of his becoming the biggest star, and it was crazy. It was a crazy time.

SPEAKER_02 31:55

What's that like to be in a relationship with somebody when you're both actors and you're seeing and somebody's career is just skyrocketing? Is that like because you see it in some Hollywood couples where people just can't deal with that? Is it is a challenge? Is it like are you trying to push each other and and support each other, or is it does it become in its own way weirdly competitive?

SPEAKER_04 32:16

Um it wasn't competitive because I couldn't compete with him. He was like the best, right? So it wasn't like that. Um when he took off, he took off. It was just more about um the pressure that came from the outside. Like that, it was, you know, we had people breaking in trying to get pictures of us that they lived under our tennis court, they emptied our garbage, you know. It was um when it kind of coincided with the explosion of those. Do you remember all those shows like hard copy and everything? I mean, it was just like every night we were being followed around and um paparazzi and the yes, and our whole focus, like I can't even tell you how much we tried to be private, like not let anybody know anything. And for me, that was also really important. I wanted to be private because I wanted to work with great directors, and I wanted them to not have any preconceived notions about me, you know, that I could fit what they were looking for. So it's really strange to see how much that has all changed now because I spent a decade doing everything I could not to let anybody know what I was doing when I was doing it. And now the norm is to let everybody know everything. And I just it's mind-blowing to me.

SPEAKER_02 33:43

Yeah, and and there is no there is no such thing as privacy, and everybody feels like they're entitled to understand exactly what you're doing, and then they they want to assign some reason why you're doing what you're doing, you know. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. And and are you and then you you've done like so many TV series now, like so many. So many. Any fate, like I I know you can't say favorite, but any that you really felt changed who you are or helped form your character or in terms of who you are.

SPEAKER_04 34:08

My favorite TV experience was uh Picket Fences.

SPEAKER_02 34:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:12

It's a David E. Kelly show. I loved my part so much.

SPEAKER_02 34:16

Yeah, you were so good.

SPEAKER_04 34:17

Um and it sort of straddled drama and comedy, which I really, you know, I liked that sort of pretending that the world is normal when it's not. And um, and then and I loved, loved, loved David E. Kelly. And I used to go sit in his office and bug him all the time. And then he took me to uh Chicago Hope. And it's funny because when I came to Canada by these weird circumstances and then ended up in a battle here, um, I lost, I kind of disappeared out of Hollywood for a decade and lost touch with so many people. And in a in a kind of way, David did the same thing because he moved north and married Michelle Pfeiffer and you know, kind of changed his life for a bit too. But then he came back with the storm, he's got so many shows on and stuff. And so I'm really excited actually because I reached out to him and now I'm gonna go see him in LA.

SPEAKER_02 35:14

Oh, that's exciting. Yeah, yeah, and especially because it goes back how many decades ago was that?

SPEAKER_04 35:18

In the midden, like 30 years we started working together.

SPEAKER_02 35:21

That's very that's super fascinating to me because I always, I mean, I've always wanted to be an actress. I I I it's a little late in my life now to be an actress, but I've always wanted to be an actress. And because I've always appreciated how when you see a when you see somebody doing a really good, you know, job of their role, as you have honestly in all of the all of the things I've ever seen you in, I've always been so impressed by you, Learn. Like you are so talented and you you you you really do take on the character in a way that is so believable. Like you don't, it doesn't feel like acting. And um, no, it's it's sincere. It's like so sincere. And I and I think, oh, you know, like it would be just so amazing to be able to sometimes remove yourself from who you are and take on somebody else's as a role because you must get really immersed in who that character is, right? Can you leave yourself behind through that or no?

SPEAKER_04 36:11

Well, I it is pretty when you play a character for a a while, yeah. For me at least, a piece of that character always stays with me in my life. It's very strange. Like, you know, after I'll like dress a little bit differently or something, like I most feel like, you know, I um I met a I worked with an incredible costume designer named Ann Roth at one point, and we had a bunch of fittings, and I would show up each day, and she said to me on the third day, it's like just stuck with me. She's like, I figured out why you're a good actress because you just have like no clue who you really are. You come in here as different people every day, like the way you dress and whatever, and I think you just kind of inhabit things, and I think that's maybe what's happened. Like I sort of take pieces from each one and you're not habitual then, I bet you.

SPEAKER_02 37:08

Are you a habitual person?

SPEAKER_04 37:12

Um I'm habitual in say um a routine, like a morning routine, but I can toss it at the minute I travel.

SPEAKER_02 37:23

Yeah. So you're not really habitual.

SPEAKER_04 37:25

I guess not.

SPEAKER_02 37:25

Yeah. Me either. And I think that's I think there's something to be said for that because well, I think being habitual is really great if you want to make sure that you're working out every day and doing all those things that matter to your health, sure. Um, but there's something to be said for not feeling like you have to always show up exactly the same so that you can take on the things you learn and you can grow as a person and you can push yourself to try new things, right?

SPEAKER_04 37:49

Or not be afraid to. Yes. Yes. You know, and and because I think that's important. I think if you if you take risks, it's okay to fail. Like getting comfortable with that failure, so then you can take another one. Like, you know, I've thought about that a lot of times when I'm about to do something. I've thought to things in my past and been like, come on, you got through that. This is gonna be a cakewalk. Like, just try. True. That's where confidence comes from, right?

SPEAKER_02 38:18

It's allowing yourself to fail. Lauren, I honestly I feel like our time's gone so quickly, and I I I I have so much I want to ask you still. So maybe you'll come back if we're eating.

SPEAKER_04 38:27

It's really easy. I live around the corner.

SPEAKER_02 38:28

Yeah, exactly. We'll find each other on the street somewhere. Yeah, yeah. Walking by. Or we'll find holding placards or writing really nasty social media policy. We'll see each other on our threads. Yeah, on our threads platform. Anything you want to say to the audience about life or in general?

SPEAKER_04 38:44

Don't be afraid to fail. Take a risk.

SPEAKER_02 38:48

Wise words. Follow Lauren on social media, listen to what she has to say. Her new movie, her new shows, like everything she's doing is really phenomenal. And I'm so grateful for you coming on on Arlena's alone. It was lovely to be here. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, everybody, wherever you are in your journey, I hope this has been helpful to you. I hope the conversation has made you think differently about where you are in your life, and uh look forward to seeing you next time on Arlena's alone.